Almost 3 years ago today, I had such an amazing and vivid dream about a "bunny" that I had to capture it in writing. This week, Holy Week 2016 has been a trying one for me. By the Grace of God we sailed through the cold winter months, keeping warm inside by the fireplace, playing board games and our share of sequence. It is officially spring now, but the cold is still lingering, as typical March MN weather does. While the sunshine lately has been Glorious, the cold has me still feeling like doing nothing but bundling up and staying warm inside... which is beginning to cause some serious cabin fever.
In November of 2015, I made the sole decision to quit my job, take my 3rd grader out of the only school she ever knew and walk by faith to be with my parents through a heavy trial they have been going through for quite a while. I have no regrets, in fact, I Thank God that he's showered us with so many daily blessings since then.
I had a breaking point yesterday though.
It turns out, as God would have it, we have inherited a bunny... not just any bunny but a Netherlands Dwarf bunny... small, frail and fragile. The story goes... my aunt (my dad's sister) fell in love and bought this bunny, full well knowing she isn't allowed to have it where she lives and figured it would be a good thing for her brother, my dad (who has dementia)
Since day one, that has not been the case and the bunny has been deemed mine and my daughter's. She's thrilled and to be honest, I of course have a soft spot for him too. He's very soft and sweet, a cuddle bunny for sure and gives the best kisses with the tiniest tongue!
We are currently still living with my parents and my dad has really shown little to no interest in the bunny since it got here. Yesterday, however, he felt the need to open it's cage and try to fill it's water bowl. He spilt it (not a big deal) but all I heard were some under his breath cussing so I thought I better go look to see what the matter was.
When I saw the newspapers saturated in water and my dad standing there confused, i said, no worries and began to clean it up. For some reason my dad wanted to begin to try to help by grabbing, rather forcefully, the bunny from the cage. It of course made me nervous for the bunny, I told him that wasn't necessary so he threw the bunny into the cage. This wrecked me and i tried calmly at first to tell my dad that I could handle the situation, he then picked up the entire smaller box that the bunny was in. I said all too aggressively "PUT the BOX down". He stood there for a while with the box in his hands, set it down and then walked out of the bathroom.
I finished cleaning up the cage and ran up to my old room (where I lived my jr. and sr. year of high school) and hid. I hid. For the first time since I've been here, I needed a serious break. I needed to compose myself because I was so devastated by the possibility of this bunnies little leg being fractured or broken or just being so shaken with fear from the whole experience... even if his little bunny body WAS ok.
I hid for what had to be no longer than 5-7 minutes. As I did, my dad repeatedly worked his way from the basement, to the main floor, to the upstairs (where I was) calling out "hello", "who's here", "Josie?" "Mary?"... "hello" At first, THAT killed me, but I needed this short break and I also was feeling a tug to see HOW he would continue to handle the situation. As he made the flights up and down the stairs, his anxiety rose for sure. This, of course, broke my heart. He was just as scared as that bunny. He knew enough to know that SOMEONE was with him, he felt he lost them and it scared him. I think it scared him to be alone.
Jesus wants us to love all creatures but that incident made me believe He wants me to remember how scared my own father is right now, going through something he has no control over and only half understands any of it. He knows enough to know he needs the people around him for their memories.
The "abuse" of the bunny also reminded me of Jesus and the pain and suffering, the torture that men subjected him to. Jesus was fragile, gentle-hearted like the bunny yet was treated so poorly and all for our sake. it is surely not about the bunny.
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