Through the Fire

1Peter 1:6-9 In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, 7 that the genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, 8 whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, 9 receiving the end of your faith – the salvation of your souls.

it's not about the bunny: Part 2

Almost 3 years ago today, I had such an amazing and vivid dream about a "bunny" that I had to capture it in writing. This week, Holy Week 2016 has been a trying one for me. By the Grace of God we sailed through the cold winter months, keeping warm inside by the fireplace, playing board games and our share of sequence. It is officially spring now, but the cold is still lingering, as typical March MN weather does. While the sunshine lately has been Glorious, the cold has me still feeling like doing nothing but bundling up and staying warm inside... which is beginning to cause some serious cabin fever.
In November of 2015, I made the sole decision to quit my job, take my 3rd grader out of the only school she ever knew and walk by faith to be with my parents through a heavy trial they have been going through for quite a while. I have no regrets, in fact, I Thank God that he's showered us with so many daily blessings since then.
I had a breaking point yesterday though.
It turns out, as God would have it, we have inherited a bunny... not just any bunny but a Netherlands Dwarf bunny... small, frail and fragile. The story goes... my aunt (my dad's sister) fell in love and bought this bunny, full well knowing she isn't allowed to have it where she lives and figured it would be a good thing for her brother, my dad (who has dementia)
Since day one, that has not been the case and the bunny has been deemed mine and my daughter's.  She's thrilled and to be honest, I of course have a soft spot for him too. He's very soft and sweet, a cuddle bunny for sure and gives the best kisses with the tiniest tongue!
We are currently still living with my parents and my dad has really shown little to no interest in the bunny since it got here. Yesterday, however, he felt the need to open it's cage and try to fill it's water bowl. He spilt it (not a big deal) but all I heard were some under his breath cussing so I thought I better go look to see what the matter was.
When I saw the newspapers saturated in water and my dad standing there confused, i said, no worries and began to clean it up. For some reason my dad wanted to begin to try to help by grabbing, rather forcefully, the bunny from the cage.  It of course made me nervous for the bunny, I told him that wasn't necessary so he threw the bunny into the cage.  This wrecked me and i tried calmly at first to tell my dad that I could handle the situation, he then picked up the entire smaller box that the bunny was in.  I said all too aggressively "PUT the BOX down". He stood there for a while with the box in his hands, set it down and then walked out of the bathroom.
I finished cleaning up the cage and ran up to my old room (where I lived my jr. and sr. year of high school) and hid.  I hid. For the first time since I've been here, I needed a serious break. I needed to compose myself because I was so devastated by the possibility of this bunnies little leg being fractured or broken or just being so shaken with fear from the whole experience... even if his little bunny body WAS ok.
I hid for what had to be no longer than 5-7 minutes.  As I did, my dad repeatedly worked his way from the basement, to the main floor, to the upstairs (where I was) calling out "hello", "who's here", "Josie?" "Mary?"... "hello"  At first, THAT killed me, but I needed this short break and I also was feeling a tug to see HOW he would continue to handle the situation.  As he made the flights up and down the stairs, his anxiety rose for sure. This, of course, broke my heart. He was just as scared as that bunny.  He knew enough to know that SOMEONE was with him, he felt he lost them and it scared him. I think it scared him to be alone.
Jesus wants us to love all creatures but that incident made me believe He wants me to remember how scared my own father is right now, going through something he has no control over and only half understands any of it. He knows enough to know he needs the people around him for their memories.
The "abuse" of the bunny also reminded me of Jesus and the pain and suffering, the torture that men subjected him to. Jesus was fragile, gentle-hearted like the bunny yet was treated so poorly and all for our sake. it is surely not about the bunny.

Even Still

Turmoil and Blood boil.
Heartache with Smiles fake.
Launching me into Overdrive
Barely making it Out alive.

 Seek ye first, the kingdom of God
And His Righteousness
He held me then, he holds me now
Waiting to see when I’m going to Take that final bow.

 The curtain call
The act is through
I’m wiser now
Pray that much is true.

 Love forever?
Forever I will
Uprooted but not over
Not then or even still.

It's a God Thing. Peace that Passes ALL Understanding.

I am currently in the throes of a battle between my financial peace and financial unrest. Recently, I offered up all too much of my personal information to a total stranger on the phone, claiming to be someone who was there to offer me help or financial peace instead of unrest. However, he didn't leave me with a settling feeling at all, which has since shown to be evident that he in fact, was not to be trusted. Truth be told, there has been so much talk about "identity theft" in the media that it has caused me on more than one occasion to be tested in my Faith that God is in Control of EVERYTHING and that through any challenges that may continue to come my way, He Is The Prince of Peace who offers that Peace 24/7 and it truly does PASS ALL UNDERSTANDING. Also, that my Trust is in Him. NOT my bank account. Trust me, I am not understanding what's all going on, who's abusing my "identity" (i use the quotations because I do know in my heart of hearts that my Identity is Alone IN Christ and can't be taken from me) Today, as i was again tested and stirrings of unrest and anxiety arose over the matter, i pulled out a one dollar bill from my purse and there it was. Peace. Above it... In God We Trust. Amen.

faith… Faith… FAITH

If Faith is something that I am going to have to condition myself into having whole-heartedly and 100% of the time, then my prayer is that I continue to flex my faith muscles. Daily conditioning myself to increase in Faith. God provides. He really, truly, daily, whole-heartedly provides. We see a limb, our human instinct is to be fearful of said limb. It's a limb, it's a flimsy, tiny, unstable limb which, from our human perspective will NOT hold our weight. To go out on a limb and TRUST God (not ourselves or any other human) to provide, to nourish us, mind, body, spirit and soul, it takes guts. It takes courage (core of Courage is "cor" meaning HEART in french). To TRUST Him to make a way for us when we have NO idea HOW He is going to do it, oh ye of little Faith, we really are. He Provides. And in those times where you feel unprovided for, He makes a way. He Provides a way. He Provides THE way when we seek Him and truly Trust Him. "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Hebrew 11:1

1 Peter 1: 3-9

3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God’s power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time. 6 In all this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7 These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. 8 Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, 9 for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Patiently Enduring for the Love of My Lord, Jesus Christ

And so after he had patiently endured, he obtained the promise... Hebrews6:15 God's Promises. One has stood out to me as of late: Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart. - Psalms 37:4 God promises to give me the desires of my heart. One of the deepest desires I've held since my youth, is a sincere and fruitful marriage to a man who truly desires to grow His walk with Our Lord on a Daily basis. Who not only desires His relationship with God to grow, but for Him and His Wife to grow in Love for God and others together. To walk this Journey side by side. So I patiently wait for that desire to be fulfilled, but until then I can say with great Joy and sincerity that i HAVE delighted in My Lord. He has and will always be my greatest source of strength, of Hope, of Joy and of The Sincerest Love of All. Because God Is Love. And Love is Patient and Kind. and God has shown me immeasurable amounts of patience and kindness. He has shown me Abundant Mercy and compassion. 1 Timothy 1:15-16 15 Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. 16 But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life. My God is so Good. He is a Loving and Faithful God, I wait with Joy and Hope for All of His promises to be fulfilled. With Joy and Hope I endure trials of every kind. I journey on this road as one single woman, who knows in her heart of hearts that she is truly Never Alone. God the Father, His Son and The Holy Spirit are always, always with me. Glory to God for that Truth! Amen.